So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
