i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
