From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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