I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
