Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
