You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
