found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
My vagina just recognized that song.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
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