i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
