Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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