Are we in a gay sports bar?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
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