i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Never underestimate the power of titties
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize