It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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