Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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