420 ftw
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
