yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
is it fun? or sober?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
