we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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