the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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