is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I touched a dick in church today
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
