i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
