awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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