What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
