He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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