Fine. I'll sleep in my office
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
