omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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