i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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