Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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