Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
