We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
