I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
