We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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