There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize