garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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