He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
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