Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
