sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
