meet me or not, i'm out of control
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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