ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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