I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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