Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
