He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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