He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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