I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
