I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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