I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
