So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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