i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
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