Say something about gay babies.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize