Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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