your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
