You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
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