you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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