Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
