Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
