I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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