he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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