Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
