so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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