You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
