halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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