the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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