Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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